One of the things that has really been pressing on my mind lately is my own inner dialogue. I think that a majority of the time this topic is under-discussed, but it’s one of the biggest conversations occurring between psychologists today what with cognitive behavioral therapy becoming a major focal point for healing many mental disorders. But it is just important to have conversations with yourself about your own inner dialogue as it is for those of us that go to therapy.
One of the best things you can do for your mental health, your perception of the world, and everyone around you is learn how to love yourself. If you don’t struggle with this, good for you! That makes me happy! If you do struggle with this, however, (like I have in my own life) I’ll give you some tips on how I’ve come to change my own inner dialogue from one of self-hatred to one of understanding and love.
Learn to make mistakes.
As someone who holds herself to very high standards, this first step was a hard one for me. It’s okay to make mistakes! It’s normal! Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s important to realize that you can learn from them and not hate yourself for them. There was a long time in my life where, when I made a mistake like dropping something or breaking something, I would just hate myself for it. I’d call myself stupid and whatever else–but that’s not okay! Everyone makes mistakes–no one is perfect.
It took me awhile to be able to accept my mistakes as just another part of me that is in need of love. I would never curse at one of my friends for dropping something–so why would I talk to myself in such hurtful language? Once I stopped doing that to myself and started saying, “hey, it’s okay. Stuff happens,” I became a much more accepting person all around.
Take time to yourself.
The only person you’re going to be with 24/7 for the rest of your life is you. Take time to yourself! If you’re constantly trying to give yourself to people and never take time to just be with you and follow your heart and listen to what it needs, you’re going to find yourself angry with no explanation. Communication between mind, body and spirit is so important–and having alone time is one of the best ways to hear what these different aspects of yourself are trying to say and coming to a balance between them. Doing this will help you–and has helped me–to be able to love myself more because I’m listening closely to what I need and I’m not bitter towards myself or frustrated for avoiding Sky Time.
Wake up and say, “I love you,” in the mirror.
This one is a big one. I think people in America–especially women–have the tendency to see flaws first when looking in the mirror. There was a time in my own life when I wouldn’t even allow myself to look in the mirror for fear of what I saw staring back at me. This perpetuates an inner dialogue of self-hatred. If you can look yourself in the eyes in the morning–bedhead, crusty skin, bad breath, and all–and say, “wow. I really love myself. I’m grateful for my body,” it will change the entire direction of your day.
Maybe you’ll even begin to see how beautiful and unique you are in the mirror before you see your flaws!
Positive inner dialogue isn’t something that is discussed as much as it should be (in my opinion). Learning to be patient with yourself and love yourself is one of the most important things in this world. It allows you to be kinder to others and especially to be kinder to the one person that really matters in this world–you!